Behind Her Eyes
by wickedswanz
Summary: The war is all but lost when Hermione is given the chance to go back and change things for the better. Trapped inside Lily Potter she must find a way to save Harry but what about James? Rated N17
1. Chapter 1

What a strange web that is time and destiny. And as we try to fight what is in our nature and what we are fated to be, we must be careful of the lives we touch along the way.

A Hogwarts crush did not a strong marriage make. James Potter discovered this sad fact soon after he married Lily Evens. Odd, it had seemed so intense at Hogwarts. She was always this far away flower that he just had to climb the mountain to pluck and the fact that Snape also wanted her just gave the challenge an extra element of fun.

They'd both known it was little more then a crush once school finished but standing side by side in the fight against Lord Voldermort left little time for other considerations. Friends were hurt, friends died and as the Order dwindled in number they clung to the comfort, familiarity and security of each other. When Lily fell pregnant it was a shock to them both but the trap door slammed closed when Albus came to them with Trelawney's prophesy of a child born on the same date she was due.

James swore to protect her and his son and they were married the following month.

He wanted to love her, really he did but somehow the marriage of convenience had become a wall between what had once been a rather nice arrangement of two friends. Now pretty much the only thing they could agree on was Harry.

Sweet, delightful Harry. He was their son, almost one year old and the light of their lives, the pride and the joy of their existence. He was the reason they stayed together, pretended that they loved one another with the kind of passion they should. He was worth the sacrifice.

"Look at you, brooding there." Sirius' voice shocked James out of his musing.

He glared into the fire which now framed the smug face of Sirius Black. "You scared the life out of me, you dozy bastard."

"Ooh, are you trembling, lad? Like a little school girl?" Sirius goaded. "I knew you fancied me."

"Bugger off." James was laughing when Lily came in from the kitchen.

"Is that Sirius?" she asked, waving her wand over her shoulder to keep the dinner preparing itself. She gave the man in the fire a smooth cool smile. "You're still coming to dinner tomorrow night, yes?"

"I am indeed, Mrs. Potter," Sirius replied and James' lips quirked, it sounded like he were speaking to James' mother.

"Well don't' forget to bring that letter from the Ministry. I told you that bike would get you in trouble one day."

Sirius rolled his eyes but Lily had already turned away to return to the kitchen. He made the sign of a mouth flapping with one hand.

"Oi!" James warned only to earn himself a cheeky grin from his old school friend. He sighed. "Just behave, yeah?"

"Not if I can help it, mate."

"Fine, so where are we going this full moon?" He knelt closer to the fire and lowered his voice.

"Ah," Sirius replied grinning. "Remus is spending the night at Hogwarts; Albus has a mission for him. So I was thinking that we could just go out, you know go to that new club." He arched an eyebrow suggestively and James knew exactly which club he was suggesting.

"Bloody hell mate," James said, shaking his head. "You know I can't do that, I'm a respectable married man."

Sirius laughed. "I noticed you didn't use the word happily."

"Goodbye, Padfoot." James threw a handful of sand in the fireplace to close the connection.

The sound of a loud CLUNK and a cry came from the kitchen. James jumped to his feet and ran in to find his wife bent over the table, one hand propping her up and the other rubbing the back of her head. A large pot lay motionless and guilty on the floor.

"Lily, are you alright?" James rushed to her side and wrapped an arm around her middle to help her stand. "What happened?"

"I don't know…" She sounded confused. "I was cooking then… Ow! That bloody pot just flew into the air and fell on my head. I guess I wasn't concentrating or something…"

"Well here, why don't you sit down and I'll finish making the dinner."

"Don't be ridiculous," she returned sharply. "You can't cook to save your life."

James almost backed away but made himself stay. She was only being sharp with him because her head hurt. "I can finish off what you started, dear," he replied trying to keep his temper in tact. "Only trying to help."

Lily pulled away delicately then used her wand to quickly maneuver the food back into the cold box and placed a quick stasis charm on the lot. The she rubbed the back of her sore head again and made a face.

"Darling, why don't you go lay down. I'll brew you up a headache potion then make myself a sandwich." He smiled and combed his fingers through her long red hair. "We can have dinner when you feel better."

Again she gently pulled way from his touch and he pretended not to be hurt. "Alright, James, I think I will lay down but I'll brew my own potion." She gave him a weak smile then slowly made her way up the stairs to their bedroom.

~*~*~

Hermione was sure that she saw Harry running for the tunnel to the Shrieking Shack. She knew he hadn't left them, if there was one thing she knew the boy-who-lived was no coward. If he was going to the shack it meant that Voldermort was there and she couldn't, wouldn't let him face that alone.

Curses flew back and forth throughout the castle. From where Hermione hid behind an overturned table she watched as three shrouded Death Eaters dueled against Professor McGonagall and Professor Flintwick. In other circumstances she would have been enthralled by the sheer skill of her two teachers but this was not the time.

She looked for a gap in the fighting and spotted Neville running from two scraggly looking wizards. "Oh no you don't!" She gasped and lunged over the table towards them.

"Hermione?!" Neville had a moment to look confused before the wizards caught up.

She threw him a breathless grin then turned to face the two wizards. Her wand was drawn and ready. She dodged a red curse and shielded against another then threw two stunners of her own.

"Oi." One of the wizards with short cropped hair spoke up, tipping his head to the side to look at her more closely. "Don't we know you?"

"Oh yeah." The other, shorter one added, an evil grin splitting his thin lips. "You're Potter's Mudblood ain't ya?"

As one they pointed their wands and the curse was out before she could think. Green curse light flew towards her chest and all of a sudden she felt a weight push against her side as she was shoved out the way. Hermione hit the hard floor and looked back just in time to see Neville take both curses in his side.

"No!" The scream left her lungs as she jumped to her feet and ran at the two murderers.

She fired a curse at one and he fell, she had no idea what it was and it didn't matter. The next she attacked with her fists, three punches, one hit his cheek, one hit his nose and the other hit his jaw and he fell.

Hermione dropped to Neville's side and turned him over. He was alive, but barely. "You bloody fool," she sobbed her tears running unchecked down her face.

His eyes opened slightly and a smile touched his lips as he looked up at her. Slowly he raised his hand to caress her cheek. "Not sorry," he whispered.

The battle raged around them but it was as though they were in the eye of the storm. Hermione leaned down to place a kiss on his already cooling lips. "You were always the bravest of us."

He made to say something else but his time ran out and Hermione watched in horror as his eyes closed for the last time. "No! No, no, no… Please no…" Her head dropped to his still chest and she sobbed feeling her tears soaking into his knitted vest.

The sounds of the war filtered back into her senses. At length Hermione climbed to her feet. A curse flew at her and she dodged with ease and without thought she threw hex after hex, clearing her path to the door. She yanked Ginny out of the way of a purple curse and kept going, hexing and dodging and shielding till she was safely outside.

Harry, she had to keep going for Harry and she would. Quickly she made her way through the tunnel but once on the other side she found only dancing candlelight and silence.

"Harry?" She called out running into the shack. "Harry!" Her voice was so shrill with her worry that she barely heard the pained groan.

In a far corner a dark figure lay surrounded by blood. Oh Merlin. She ran to his side and jumped back with a gasp. "Severus!" She pulled her wand but there was little point, the man had no energy and his time was running out quickly.

"That's Professor Snape to you, Miss Granger," he muttered.

"Why you pompous ass," she spluttered and dropped to her knees next to him. "Tell me where the blood is coming from."

He laughed, a low bitter sound. "Are you going to save me?" He opened his eyes and looked at her for a long time. "Always the know-it-all aren't you. How are you so sure I deserve to be saved?"

It was her turn to give a dry laugh and she unbuttoned his shirt and gasped at the jagged cuts running across his body and the poison leaking out along with the blood. "Am I to believe that Harry did this then?"

He barked and this time he did smile. "He wishes."

She shook her head and pulled out a vial of Phoenix Tears. In no time his wounds began to heal. "You'll live to repay what you owe." She stood back up. "Now where is Harry?"

"No!" Snape grabbed her arm and yanked her back down. "You can not go where he is going. This he must do alone."

She shook her head and tried to pull away but his grip was like steal. "What is it with you and Albus? When are you going to understand that other people is all we have, it's the fact that Harry has us at his side that's kept him alive, kept him good. I can never abandon him."

"You will, you all abandon us in the end."

That stilled her struggling and he turned his head to gaze at her.

"He had this marvelous plan you see, such a planner he is, he moves us as though we are chess pieced in his own personal game board. Just pieces to be moved, our lives and loves and deaths mean little on such a large board." He coughed but was gaining strength. "Even from the grave he controls us."

"Albus?"

"Who else, you silly girl?" He rested his head on the floor and looked up at the broken ceiling. "But our puppeteer is a gambler; this will be the second time he has bet that boy's life, are we so sure he will be so lucky a second time? He promised me that she would be safe, he promised but he must have known… I should have known…" He was rambling.

"Severus I have to go, if I can't help Harry then I must help the others, they're just children."

This earned her another bark of laughter. "And what are you exactly?"

"I'm the woman who just saved your life." With that Hermione pulled away sharply and ran out of the shack.

The only place she could think to go was back to the castle and she ran. Fast and hard she placed one foot in front of the other and moved as fast as she could back towards where she was needed.

The first thing she heard was a roar. Loud and filled with pain it seemed to make the earth tremble and Hermione stopped dead.

"Are ye happy now!" Hagrid roared. "He's dead you cowardly bastards. Ye did nothing! He laid down his life for ye and ye did nothing!"

Hermione couldn't move. She was rooted to the spot her eyes glued to the slight body in the half-giant's arms. She stumbled forwards and her hands covered her mouth then slid to thread into her curls. Her stumbling steps took her to the side of Ron and Ginny and together all they could do was watch as Hagrid marched down the path, huge tears sliding down his face bellowing his sorrow to anyone who would listen.

"Harry?" Hermione rasped brokenly. Her throat felt parched and sore. She couldn't have cried out if she wanted to.

She never saw Belatrix dance up and around Hagrid and when the she raised her wand Hermione didn't defend herself.

The curse hit Hermione in the chest and she went down. As her vision faded to black she could hear the sounds of her friends picking up the fight. She heard her name, she heard Ginny scream and all was silent.

~*~*~

Somewhere a baby cried. Hermione groaned and rolled over in her bed. The crying went on. She yanked the pillow from under her head and pulled it down over her ears. The crying went on.

Finally, blissful quiet.

A deep male voice cooed from somewhere far away and the baby hiccoughed softly. He began to sing and the words drifted through the fog of sleep, seeped into her bones and made her smile.

Hush, little baby, don't say a word.  
Papa's gonna buy you a mockingbird

And if that mockingbird won't sing,  
Papa's gonna buy you a diamond ring

And if that diamond ring turns brass,  
Papa's gonna buy you a looking glass

"Hmmm," she sighed happily. She was warm and so comfortable and whatever she'd been dreaming was far away.

Softly she began to sing along with the man in the next room. The voice got louder as he walked from the next room and into hers. He looked blurry through her sleepy eyes but she could make out the glasses and messy black hair. "Harry, you madman what are you doing?" She giggled and stretched unable to remember the last time she felt so relaxed.

Harry laughed, his voice deeper somehow. "What has you so giggly this morning?"

"I had the worst dream…We lost the war…Hagrid was crying with you in his arms," she murmured trying to push the dream away to the place all dreams floated to after the dreamer awakes.

But it wouldn't go. The Dream stayed clear and just got clearer as awareness took over. More like a memory then a dream. But surely if Harry was here with her then it must have been a dream. But who's was the baby?

"Don't worry, darling, it's over now." Harry sat down on the edge of the bed and caressed a lock of hair from her face.

Darling? Since when did Harry call her darling? She needed to go to the bathroom. Hermione swung out of bed and headed for the bathroom. She used the toilet and splashed her face with water, looked into the mirror and blinked.

She blinked again and kept staring. She tipped her head to the side then to the other and so did the stranger in the mirror. Reaching up her hand she touched her long red hair, her pale face. She looked at her long, painted fingernails… A loud sob escaped as she looked into a face so familiar but definitely not her own. The face of a woman who died many years ago.

"Lily," Harry called out and ran in to stand behind her. No, not Harry, his eyes were wrong, hazel. "What's wrong?" He looked around and then back at her reflection, into her emerald green eyes. "Lily?"


	2. Chapter 2

________________

James was putting Harry back in his cot with his stuffed dog when he heard his wife sobbing. Immediately he ran to the bathroom to find her staring into the mirror. She looked confused but more importantly she looked scared.

"Lily, what's wrong?" He placed his hands on her shoulders and pulled her back against him. She felt smaller, somehow more fragile. "Lily?"

After a moment she met his eyes in the mirror. "Oh dear."

"Tell me what's wrong, love."

"I…" She turned around and pulled back to look at him more closely. Slowly she raised her hand to touch his face. "I can't seem to wake up."

She traced his jaw with the tips of her fingers and he felt his breath catch. Her fingertip caressed just under his eye and she seemed to be thinking. "James Potter?"

He nodded. "Lils, maybe you should lay down. You hit your head pretty hard last night and that dream seemes to have really shaken you up. I'll owl Alice to come babysit while I'm at work. I bet Harry would love to see Neville again."

"Harry…?" That seemed to wake her up. Shaking her head she looked backup at him and before his eyes she seemed to be internally pulling herself back together. "No, I'll be alright."

She still seemed shaky but he decided to let it go. Nightmares weren't so uncommon these days. "If you say so." He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and placed a warm kiss just above her eyebrow. His lips lingered longer then usual and he liked that she didn't push him away.

"James, what's the date today?"

"I think it's the fifteenth of July, why?"

"And the year?"

"The year?" James laughed but stopped short when he noticed she wasn't smiling. "1981. But you know that"

This time she laughed; a gasping sound that seemed to be part humor and part panic. He decided to owl Alice and ask her to come and spend the day. What ever the dream it was taking its toll.

He pulled away and watched curiously as she turned back to look in the mirror. "Wow," she murmured so low he could barely hear. "Potentially problematic does not even start to cover this."

Biting his tongue he pulled his shirt over his head and threw it into the basket then started on his pants. Her gasp made him look back at where she was watching him in the mirror. Was she blushing?

"What are you doing?" She asked, sounding breathless and seemed to be trying very hard to keep her gaze on his face.

"I'm… Taking a shower?" He spoke slowly and smiled at her silliness. "You know, before I go to work. You see they have this whole personal hygiene thing, never really got it myself. What's smelling like a rose got to do with catching dark wizards anyway?"

This time she did laugh. "Oh please those snooty Death Eaters would never let you arrest them unless you are at least wearing aftershave and a well cut robe."

"You know we should do that, show up all stinky and wearing sackcloth robes."

Lily giggled and nodded with enthusiasm. "Yeah and we all give them big hugs before we turn them over to the Dementors."

"Ooh that is just too cruel." James was still laughing when he removed the last of his clothes and stepped under the hot spray.

In the shower he decided not to dwell on the way she skittered out of the bathroom when he'd dropped his pants. There was definitely something different about her this morning. That was the first time in weeks that she had let him touch her for more then a few brief seconds.

James hummed loudly as hot water watched down his back and soaked his hair. It had been a long time since he and his wife really connected on any level, even longer since they'd laughed together.

~*~*~

Hermione pressed herself against the bathroom door and tried to breath but the air wouldn't come. Seeing Harry's father undress was not something she was supposed to see and not something she was supposed to remember. He looked like Harry but only to an extent, there were his eyes for starters, then there was his slightly thicker-set jaw, fuller lips and a morning shadow on his chin that Hermione was sure she had never seen on Harry. Then there was the wide shoulders, defined arms and snail-trail running from just under his chest and down to where his hands undid the button on his pants…

. "Okay, calm down - breathe - And again." She forced herself calm the way she usually did. "Now wake up."

Nothing changed.

"And…Wakeup!" She shut her eyes tightly.

"I'm pretty sure that won't work." A voice said from across the room.

Hermione opened her eyes to glare at the stranger. He looked oddly familiar but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. "Who are you?"

"Regulus Black, at your service," he said with a smirk of amusement twisting his lips. "And you I am informed are Miss Hermione Granger."

Hermione gasped and looked down at herself, nails still painted, robe the same. "You can see me? How can you see me?"

He shrugged. "You look like Lily Potter to me too but I knew who you were in advance."

"That makes no sense. None of this makes sense. Not me, not you - Aren't you supposed to be dead? Am I dead?"

"Whoa, slow down, pet." He held up his hands and made a gesture for her to slow down as he said. "It makes sense but only from our side, trust me it's better all round if you don't know just how intrusive these guys can be."

"Who? Is this Voldermort's work?"

He laughed, tipping his head right back. "Oh no you silly little thing. We go way beyond Tom Riddle. We are neither good nor evil."

"We?" She shook her head and returned to her original train of thought. "Are we dead?"

"No, you are not dead but at this point neither are you alive. You are a soul, disembodied by a killing curse."

"So why am I here?"

He smiled again. "Ah, now we're on the right track. You have been chosen to make right the wrongs."

"What wrongs?"

"The wrongs." His smile just got wider at her impatient glare.

She sucked in some air and counted to ten - slowly. "I'm going to have to know what wrongs I need to right if you want me to be any use here."

"We don't think so."

"Look I can't stay here, this isn't my time, I can't be Lily Potter." Another thought struck. "Why the hell do you need me anyway? Why don't you give your, "We need you to right the wrongs," speech to Lily?"

He shook his head. "She is not the one."

"How do you know! Since you need Lily to do it why not just get Lily to do it!?"

His expression darkened. "She is not the one and you are running out of time." He looked pointedly towards the bathroom. "When he finishes his shower your time for answers ends and you are all alone."

"What? That's insane."

"We don't think so - tick tock tick tock."

Oh for Merlin's sake this man was no help and this situation was confusing enough. "Um… Alright. Why me? Why now?"

He nodded his approval. "The wrong has been known to us for some time, but wrongs often right themselves leaving little need for our intervention. When Harry Potter and yourself were killed we knew that this would not be one of them." He held up a hand to halt her interruption. "Destiny and fate is neither an end or a destination, it is a path. We stray and we return over our lives but we must stick to the path. We fear that the path has been lost in the forest so we must backtrack to find it again."

"Am I stuck inside Lily forever?"

"No, when we are sure that the path firmly underfoot you will be returned to your body."

Hermione thought about that. "Will I still be dead? I mean my body?"

"Another good question… We don't know."

"What!?"

"The path is not one person, it is many. If you die on the path then you die. It is the path that concerns us."

Hermione threw her hands into the air. "So then what is my incentive to do anything!?"

A slow smile spread his mouth and made his eyes glow. "We have faith in you."

She huffed and crossed her arms. "Well can you at least give me a hint to how I can right the wrong." She sighed at that last part. It just sounded so pompous.

"Follow your heart. Love is the answer."

"What if I fail!?"

"You will not fail. We have all faith in your capacity for love. Just follow your heart and you can not fail."

Behind her the shower turned off and Hermione panicked. "No, wait I have more questions."

"Too late." He cupped her face and smiled into her eyes. "Just love him."

"Wait…" She ransacked her brain for another question. "Why did they send you?"

"I am a conduit between this world and ours." He shrugged. "As it turns out, the last minute redemption isn't worth as much as living a good life." And with that he faded and was gone.

"Love him?" she muttered. "I always loved Harry. Lily bloody died for him, how much more love can you get?"

Regulus' words filtered back into her mind. "Follow your heart and you can not fail."

A baby cried in the next room. She smiled and placed a hand over her chest. "Well, come on thumper."

~*~*~

She stopped at the nursery door and felt her chest restrict. The last time she saw Harry he'd been dead in Hagrid's arms. She heard Hagrid's loud sobbing cries in her mind and nipped at her lip to stop it trembling. She wasn't ready.

The baby wailed again and Hermione walked slowly through the door into the baby-blue painted room. It was small, cozy and warm with a change table placed against the wall, a large wardrobe and a thick-set cot. And there he was.

Hermione's breath caught in her throat. He was so small. He stopped crying the moment she entered and seemed to be watching her just as closely. She stepped closer. The first thing she noticed were his eyes; bright and wide and curious and the perfect shade of emerald green. And then he smiled and she felt it all the way to her soul.

"Oh Harry," she said, breathless and picked him up.

He giggled and wriggled in her arms. "Ba ba ba." He slapped his hand against his mouth. "Dad-dad." He laughed again and dropped his head to her shoulder, sucking his thumb. Smiling she gently touched his hair and breathed in his soft baby smell. It was then she noticed something was missing. She brushed his fringe of his forehead - no scar. This child didn't have a worry in the world besides food and dipers. No aunt and uncle to be cruel to him, no world to treat him with extremes of worship or prejudice. No unremembered dreams of his mother screaming for the life of her son.

Before she knew it she was crying. Tears rolled down her cheeks and she held little Harry closer, hugging him to her chest, loving him and knowing how Lily felt trying to protect him. He said "Follow your heart and you can not fail." Her heart was telling her to make sure he grew up with a mother. To hell with the prophesy and to hell with Dumbledore's plans. Harry wasn't a pawn he was a boy with so much goodness in him it outshone the darkness in which he lived.

Still wiping away tears Hermione carried Harry out into the kitchen and sat him in the highchair. She had babysat her cousins enough to know the drill when it came to babies, though it had been a while. In the fridge she found a container marked "Harry" and inside she found single portions labeled breakfast, lunch and dinner.

"Well that's convenient," she murmured and made a note to keep the stocking of baby food up-to-date.

She selected a mixture of pear and rice and put it in a bowel of hot water to take the chill off. While she waited for the food to warm up she made coffee for herself and James. Odd how quickly she came to accepting this strange new role. A little disturbing that she didn't mind the idea of sharing the role with Harry's father.

She really didn't know him but from the few moments they had spoken he'd almost made her forget that this really wasn't where she belonged. Within minutes he'd made her laugh and made her smile and made her feel better. There had been something so nice about being in his arms. She wasn't sure she could have handled the whole conversation with Regulus if James hadn't calmed and centered her first.

"What are you doing?" James strode into the kitchen and looked curiously down at the baby food warming in the bowel.

She snatched back the bowel and tested the food. It was warm enough. "Well I can't feed it to him cold, James," she tutted. "He'll get a tummy ache."

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah I do know how babies work, but why not just use your wand?"

Oh. Well for one she couldn't find her wand. "I um…" she searched her mind for a believable excuse. "I heard that using your wand to heat baby food and milk can cause pockets of hot heat and then accidentally burn his mouth when he eats it." Technically that was only in microwave ovens but what the hell.

"Fair enough." He accepted the coffee she gave him with a surprised. "Thank you."

She hoped that she'd made it right, not game to ask how he took it she simply made it the way she made Harry's back in her time.

He took a sip and moaned. "This is perfect." Then he looked at her oddly. "You're acting very strangely today."

"Am not." She responded before thinking and rolled her eyes. "I'm the same as always. Maybe it's you who's acting different."

"That must be it," he replied sardonically and placed his empty cup in the sink. "I have to go. "I owled Alice anyway so she'll probably be here in about an hour with Neville and don't forget that Sirius, Remus and Peter are coming round for dinner tonight. Are you going to be alright to cook or do you want me to bring home some takeout?"

"No I can cook," she replied almost defensively then smiled to soften her tone. She was his wife after all and it would not do to get caught out now. "Have a nice day."

Forcing herself calm she went to him, placed a hand on his cheek, raised on tiptoes and kissed him. The kiss was soft and she felt him go very still but was determined not to show any sign that she was anything other then Lily Potter, his loving wife. Definitely not bookish, eighteen-year-old Hermione Granger and definitely not a giddy school girl. Which was how she felt. As quickly as she could she pulled away and bustled around the kitchen the way she'd watched Molly do a thousand times.

James cleared his throat. "Well - goodbye."

As soon as he was gone Hermione collapsed into her chair with the baby food in one hand and a spoon in the other. She fed Harry a little and he smacked his lips hungrily. "I hope you know what I'm doing for you, Potter," she grumbled and fed him another spoonful.

"I have no idea how to be a wife," she continued on, still feeding Harry. "I've barely even been a girlfriend." She shrugged thoughtfully. "I guess overall if I wasn't here I'd be dead. Still a mission with out set directives is very disconcerting."

"What's disconcerting?" A feminine voice came from behind and Hermione turned to find a pretty dark-haired woman standing in the doorway.

Hermione's eyes widened. The woman looked just as she had in the picture Moody had shown her. "Alice Longbottom."

Alice gave her a mischievous grin that was certainly not in the picture or any of the stories. "Go get dressed, we're going shopping."

Now that was something Hermione could handle.


	3. Chapter 3

**I am so sorry that this took so long - RL took over for a bit but from now on updates will be more regular.**

* * *

There was something so nice about pushing a stroller through Diagon Alley. The handles felt somehow right in her hands and there was a sense of pride that came when passers by stopped to tell her how handsome and adorable her baby was. There was a new feeling of belonging, of acceptance and it was hard to feel out of place even though that fact was glaringly true.

Alice as it turned out was very easy to be with; Hermione almost forgot that she was supposed to be another person. She and Lily weren't so different she supposed. They were both muggle-born, both loved Harry, both women and as such enjoyed shopping. And of course there was that taste in men. Hermione couldn't help but admit that Lily had wonderful taste. If she had to pretend to be any ones wife she could certainly do worse then James Potter. He was handsome and kind and funny.

She rolled her eyes and shook her head, scolding herself for her own girliness. This was a mission, nothing more. There was no way that she could allow herself to become attached to James, it was odd and dangerous that she had taken to the man so quickly, in all honesty she had known him only a few hours and had spoken less then a few words with him in the half hour they were actually in the same room.

No, it wasn't so much her emotions as the closeness and intimacy of the mission. She mused that she had never really used to being so close to an attractive man, any attractive man so it wasn't so surprising that her young mind would form a bond, a crush of sorts with said man. It had all happened so fast, no warning just - WACK - Here you are now pretend to be his wife and make things right - if you don't every one dies. Oh and by the way the first time you see your new husband he'll be naked and dripping…

Alice pulled her from her musing by grabbing her arm and pulling her towards a dress shop that looked way too expensive.

"Alice I can't possibly. James will have a fit if I spend that much money," Hermione said, remembering something her mother had once said.

"Nonsense!" Alice admonished. "Our husbands are Aurors, the elite, they're called. And James is always complaining that you don't have as many dresses as you should."

That struck her off guard. "He does?" She knew it wasn't really her that he had been complaining but she still felt slighted. "Then I guess we'd better solve that problem."

As they pulled dress after dress from the rack they took turns watching the babies as they tried them on. Neville started to fuss so Hermione picked him up and held him in her arms until Alice finished changing. The baby Neville didn't look so different to the adolescent really. Hermione smiled down at him and felt her eyes stick with unshed tears as the baby reached out to touch her cheek - a movement so like the last he made before his death.

"You are going to be my hero, Neville Longbottom."

They Ooh'ed and Ahh'ed as each came out wearing various different cuts and colors and complained about the listed sizes in fact becoming smaller then they used to be.

Before she knew it, Hermione had three new dresses and more accessories then she would ordinarily wear in a year. But then she wasn't Hermione any more, wouldn't be until she completed her mission. Till then she was Mrs. Potter, mother and lady of leisure.

"Look at you, smiling there," Alice said with a cheeky grin. "What is with you today? You're so light and easy… Oh my god you had sex!"

"Alice!" Hermione shushed her, her own face flushing a deep scarlet. "And - No I don't think so…" She wanted to sink into the floor.

"You don't think so?"

Hermione shrugged, trying for nonchalant. "You know what it's like." She had no idea what she meant but it seemed to work since Alice rolled her eyes and nodded in understanding.

Alice chatted away about the new kitchen she was planning while on holidays. Hermione searched her memory and remembered that Alice and Frank had both been Aurors. She also remembered what happened to them both and gave an involuntary shudder.

Alice stopped and laid a hand on her shoulder. "Lils? Are you alright?" She tipped her head to the side and looked at her closer. "Are you feeling unwell again? Shall we go home?"

Hermione nodded and smiled thankfully. This was much harder then expected. She was so used to dueling and fighting battles she could win with her wand and wits, this was all very new to her.

_Follow your heart… _

~*~*~

James met Sirius and Remus in the leaky Cauldron for lunch and they strode together through to Diagon Alley and settled into a little outside table of _Marianne's_.

James signaled to the waitress for their usual and she nodded and smiled shyly. James felt his own ego shift up a notch under her pretty blush.

"She is so bloody into you, mate," Sirius said with a laugh.

"She certainly seems to sparkle when we arrive," Remus added with an amused smile of his own. "She is rather pretty, shame she had her sights set on the one man who's taken."

Sirius snickered and nudged James under the table. "You should go for it."

"Cut it out, Padfoot," James responded more harshly then he intended.

Both Sirius and Remus turned to look at him more closely. "Everything alright, mate?" Sirius tipped his head to the side, his own expression changing to match James'.

James fidgeted uncomfortably. Usually he responded to their jibes about the waitress with his own cocky humor but today was different. He opened his mouth to lighten the mood when Sirius suddenly looked up and sat up more straight.

"Oh, you better pull ya britches up, 'cause there's the wife now." Sirius flicked his fingers towards the two mothers pushing strollers side by side. "You want me to yell out?"

"Nah, let them shop," James answered but his voice sounded distant to his ears.

He couldn't take his eyes off Lily. It wasn't the sunlight making her hair glimmer like a flaming halo and it wasn't the way her dress accentuated her sensual figure… It was something else, something he couldn't quite put his finger on. The way she walked, the way she held her shoulders and the smile that brightened her face when she spoke to Alice.

"Does Lily look different to you?" James asked.

Both Sirius and Remus turned to pay closer attention as the two women walked through the crowd, totally unaware of the audience.

"Nah, mate… Sure is a nice dress though, shows all the curves."

"Yes, thank you, Sirius." James turned to Remus.

"I don't remember seeing her with her hair down like that in a long time - Maybe that's it," Remus said with a shrug. "She looks like Lily to me."

"What's going on?" Sirius asked, looking back to Lily as she disappeared into the crowd then back to James.

"I don't know - Probably nothing." James took a breath to center his thoughts and pick his words. "She got hit pretty hard on the head last light - a pot went flying - some kind of magical surge I guess… But this morning she was just different. I'm not even sure how - little things really." How could he put this into words? She made coffee? The kiss? He felt his lips warm with the memory. "Forget it, I'm being an idiot."

"Well you want to watch this kind of thing," Remus returned, his tone concerned. "Head injuries can be funny things."

~*~

Back home Hermione settled Harry down in his cot for an afternoon nap. For a long time she simply watched him yawn and slowly drift off to sleep. He looked so peaceful.

She reached down to gently run her fingers over his clear forehead. No scar. For years she couldn't imagine Harry without it, but now the mere idea of a scar marring his perfect face was obscene.

"It won't happen," she whispered roughly. "I promise, Harry, I won't let you down."

Leaving him sleeping Hermione grasped at her first moment of time alone to find out just who she was - who Lily was.

She opened draws and looked through books. She pulled up pillows and checked under the mattress and behind the overstuffed chairs… Nothing.

"What kind of self respecting woman doesn't keep a diary?" She sighed and fell into one of the chairs. "Well I suppose I've done alright so far… And it's not like anybody knows so I can't exactly get caught out."

Slowly her eyes fluttered closed. It had been a long day.

Three hours later her eyes flicked open to the sound of the door opening.

"Lils? I'm home," James called out. "You here?"

She quickly blinked and wiped the sleep from her eyes then jumped to her feet. "Yes, I'm here."

She walked quickly into the foyer to greet him and stopped dead. He wasn't alone.

Two young men stood at his side. Two men who looked very familiar.

To his left stood a sandy-haired man with three long scars running diagonally across his face; he was so much younger then he was when she knew him and lighter somehow.

"Remus." The name escaped her in a whooshing breath.

To James' right stood a tall, leather-clad man with long black hair and a devilishly handsome face.

A smile ticked at her lips when he threw her an easy wink. "Sirius."

All three men were staring at her curiously so she grinned, probably a bit too widely. "Hi." She raised a hand and waggled her fingers in greeting.

~*~*~

"Lily? You feeling alright?" James asked. She was looking at Remus and Sirius very strangely. Maybe he should have postponed dinner till she felt better.

"Yes, I'm - I'm good - great!" She giggled and blushed and finally shook her head and seemed to relax. "I was asleep when you got in. Guess I'm still waking up."

"It's good to see you Lily," Remus spoke up and looked pleasantly surprised when Lily responded in kind.

"It's good to see you too," she spoke the words as though they had an extra earnest meaning and then wrapped her arms around his middle and hugged him tightly.

Sirius cleared his throat and grinned in a way that made James teeth grit down. "I haven't seen you since we spoke through the Floo and I brought the paperwork you asked for." He waved it as though waving a carrot.

Lily laughed and for the first time since James and her wedding actually looked happy to see Sirius. "It feels like so much longer," she said her voice seeming to carry an odd tone again as she stepped up and hugged him, just as she'd hugged Remus.

Starting to feel left out, James coughed a little too loudly and fidgeted. "So does the husband get a hug or is this reception for the benefit of my friends."

Her cheeks flushed a pretty shade of pink in a way that reminded him of the waitress though much more appealing on his wife.

"Sorry darling," she cooed and moved easily into his arms and placing a soft kiss on his slightly stubbled cheek. "How was your day?"

She felt soft in his arms; easy and welcoming with none of the forcedness or coolness he was used to. What-ever that dream she had was it had really had an effect, maybe made her see how lucky she was? Dare he hope she was remembering the closeness and friendship they had once shared? James hoped so. If she was willing to make this marriage work and make it real, then so was he.


	4. Chapter 4

_**I'm so sorry that this is so long coming! I'm afraid that real life has been insane lately but since everything seems to have calmed down for now I'm writing up a storm :D I hope you enjoy this belated chapter and I'm already working on the next so expect another update sometime Friday or Saturday.**_

* * *

Laden with cartons of Chinese food: Fried rice, lemon chicken, beef in black bean sauce, and mixed noodle and vegetable combinations; Hermione quickly apparated back to her new home. She'd promised that she had definitely not forgotten about James' friends coming round for dinner and that the food would be ready soon enough then bounded into the kitchen, out the back door and disparated.

"Yesterday I was dead and now I'm in an American sitcom." She shook her head and chuckled. So much had happened in the last few hours - last few years!

She frowned as she snuck back through the back door, closing it silently and laying the food on the table. Remus and Sirius had both seemed surprised by the emotion she showed when they arrived. In fact Sirius had watched her very closely for a long time after while James and Remus swapped facts on the latest World cup update. Now she thought about it neither had really spoken about Lily. Both seemed to prefer speaking about James, comparing Harry to James, only mentioning the amazing eyes.

She pulled out some plates and serving dishes and tipped each carton into them and set them on the middle of the table then laid out plates. It wasn't so odd really, how many wives were close to her husband's friends? Not many. Sure they could have a companionable respect for one another but they probably weren't friends.

Lily hadn't prepared for a war with them; she had not fought by their side and had not watched them die. Hermione took a shuddering breath. Her hands were shaking and her heart was racing as memories whipped through her mind. Sirius falling into the veil, Remus falling before Belatrix, Harry dead in Hagrid's arms…

Hermione slapped a hand over her mouth and fell against the wall, stifling a grief-stricken sob. "It won't happen that way," she whispered. "Not this time - Not again."

Dinner was a success. Remus and Sirius ate like to men starving, which considering they were both single and living alone that was probably possible. Hermione had never seen either man cook once or even make a cup of tea in her time.

Now it was James looking at her strangely. "You've never made anything like this before, Lils," he said then added quickly, "Not that I'm complaining."

Hermione shrugged, trying for nonchalance. "Just felt like trying something different and with your friends coming-" She shrugged. "Thought it would be a good excuse."

They ate and the men chatted about Quidditch teams, wizarding politics and discussed the latest movements of the Death Eater army. All the while Hermione listened attentively taking in and memorizing as much as she could. If she was going to fit into this role as Lily Potter she needed to know as much as she could and fast. In forethought she probably should have asked Remus more questions about the world during the first war. She supposed if she had known this mission was a possibility she would have.

James was more level headed and fore-thinking then she expected. Most of the stories showed him as reckless and rather mean but she had known from the first moment she met him that that was not the case. James the teenager that Harry had told her about was very different to James the man who sat talking strategy and battle plans now.

After dinner James and Remus agreed to clean up the kitchen so Hermione and Sirius headed into the lounge.

"So - Um…" She tried but lost her momentum and settled on a slightly too-bright smile.

She hated to say it but she was nervous being alone with Sirius. Without the Azkaban years, the worry and the loss he was a very handsome man with piercing grey-blue eyes and a smile that made her insides melt a little. Long black hair hung down his back and over one broad shoulder and she could see quite a few tattoos on his fingers and arms that were clear and new not faded like in her time.

He seemed to be searching for something to say to when his face suddenly lit up. "Oh yeah I brought that paperwork you asked for." He walked quickly to his jacket and pulled out what looked like a lot of forms and notes rolled up and held with a rubber band.

"Paperwork?" She looked at him blankly then quickly remembered where she was. "Oh - Oh! Yes… The paperwork - That you brought - For me to look at…" And the bright smile was back.

But Sirius' smile was gone. He stared into her eyes for a beat then shrugged and sat down. He threw the roll of papers on the table and returned his piercing gaze to her face. "No problem if you forgot. I've been meaning to ask by the way. How is your mother fairing over in Scotland? Is she still knitting jumpers for us all this Christmas?"

Hermione swallowed hard and forced her heartbeat to slow down. Calm down, Hermione you can do this. He doesn't know anything. With a determined movement she sat down on the armchair while she gathered an appropriate answer. Polite small talk was something she learned well from spending so much time with the Weasley's. All she needed was a cheerful response and all would be well. Nobody actually cared or took much notice of what was said in small talk anyway.

"She's fairing very well," Hermione responded adding a light bout of chuckling for good measure. "And yes she has threatened to make jumpers for us all and now she's over her little flu there's no stopping her."

But as she spoke and tittered, the lies coming way too easy, she didn't notice the way Sirius' expression darkened or the way his hand slipped into his robes to where she knew he kept his wand until it was too late.

She watched with growing tension as he slowly pulled his wand and stood up. "Lily's father and mother died last year."

Damn! She didn't even make it through the day. Her eyes glanced at his wand then back to his blank face. She had to think fast. Had to finish the mission.

"Sirius wait," she said urgently and held her hands palm up. "You're right, I'm not Lily but I swear I'm not here to hurt anyone."

He gave one humorless bark of laughter. "I have to say that seeing you here impersonating my best friend's wife - I fail to see how you are anything but a spy or an assassin."

"Yes and I understand that completely but I am neither a spy nor an assassin. I know this is going to be very difficult to believe - I'm here and I still don't believe it."

He raised his eyebrows sardonically and tightened his fist on his wand.

"Listen to me; if I wanted Harry or James dead I could have killed them both five times over today. I could have poured Veritaserum into all your dinners and simply asked for any information I wanted."

He thought about this for a long moment the nodded stiffly and tucked his wand back into his coat. "Does James know?"

"Of course not! And he can't find out. Please Sirius this is important. I don't completely understand but yesterday I was fighting in a war against Voldermort and his dark army. We lost and I died. Then I woke up here in this body and seventeen years in the past."

Sirius looked her in the eyes and seemed to be weighing up the options. "When you met us at the door you looked so happy to see us."

She smiled and took a shuddering breath. "It's been so long but just seeing you and Remus so young and carefree… The war has been hard on you both. I think that's what I'm here to fix. I was told that somewhere here in this time everything sort of strayed from the path."

He frowned at her and sat down heavily on the sofa. "Who told you this?"

"Well this part is even more confusing. It was Regulus, your brother."

He licked his lips and rubbed his hands up over his face. "I thought it was a dream," his whispered. "My brother, large as life, appeared in my room this morning. He said that a stranger that I would meet in time was returning to restore the path of fate. It sounded insane and I just brushed it off and forgot about it later."

Hermione sat beside him and placed a trembling hand over his larger one. "So you believe me?"

He met her gaze evenly, gave one stiff nod and stood up. "I need to think."

* * *

"Lily, could you come in here a moment?" James called from the kitchen later that night after Sirius and Remus had gone home.

Hermione laid the sleeping Harry into his crib then touched her fingers to his lips then to his temple. He grumbled and wriggled and snored softly and Hermione felt her heart swell with emotion just watching him.

"Lils?" James called again.

Hermione closed the nursery door and called down. "I'm coming!" In the kitchen she looked at James expectantly. "What's the matter?"

He smiled mischievously and leaned against the bench. "Nothing at all, my dear wife. By the way did I tell you what a lovely dinner you cooked tonight?"

She chuckled. "Yes you did, several times."

"Well just let me say it again." He grinned even wider. "It must have taken you half the day to prepare all that food and cook it so perfectly."

"Well not all day." Try ten minutes. She nipped at the inside of her cheek. "Was that all?"

"No, my dearest wife, I wanted to show you this marvelous hat I found."

"A hat? James, have you lost track of your senses?"

But he simply reached behind him and pulled out one of the large containers from the Chinese takeaway and placed it promptly on his head. "Isn't it wonderful? I was even considering wearing this one to work."

His wide, amused grin was infectious. Hermione felt a hysterical laugh bubbling up and just like last time everything, all the worries and fears just fell away when James laughed with her. "Hey I had to wait in a very hot waiting area for that meal, so just you show some respect." She ran at him and grabbed for the container. "Give me that."

But he skipped back and slapped her hands away. "Oh no, I think I should just call Remus and Sirius right now and show them my new hat."

He ran around the bench and Hermione took chase. "Just you get back here!" she yelled but he laughed and danced out of her reach again and again.

When she finally caught him he grabbed Hermione's hips and spun her around lifting her of her feet. Squealing she begged him to put her down then laughed wildly when he tickled her. It had been so long since she laughed, really laughed, so long since she had found anything worth laughing about.

One day with this man who died before she had the chance to meet him and she felt almost new.

Hermione grabbed for the container again but he was faster, pulling back and wrestling her hands behind her back. They were both laughing when he pushed her against the bench and then she was suddenly breathless when she felt his large, hard body against hers, his breath mingling with hers.

James' expression sobered. He pulled the container off his head all the while holding her gaze captive. The air crackled around them and slowly his hands slid up her arms till he was gripping her shoulders, then slid up her throat till he was cupping her face.

He was going to kiss her. James Potter. Her best friend's father was about to kiss her and Merlin help her but she wanted him to. She barely knew this man and he didn't know her at all but at this moment nothing mattered but the feel of his strong hands and the excitement of having this man so close. The heat in his gaze was unmistakable and she knew that it was reflected in her own eyes.

"Something is very different about you today," he spoke almost to himself. "Maybe I'm imagining it." He caressed a thumb over her jaw. "Maybe I'm dreaming you."

Something flipped and tingled inside Hermione's stomach and she couldn't help but smile up at him.

Right then a large, perfectly white owl swooped through the window and landed with a distinguished thump on the bench. It fluttered its feathers pompously and held out it's leg with the envelope tied to it.

James swore under his breath and pulled away. "It's a Ministry owl." He took the letter and read quickly then swore again. "I have to go." He tied a brisk reply to the owl's leg and sent the bird on its way.

"I understand," she breathed with part disappointment and a large part relief. Now with some distance between them her mind was rushing back in with cold logic. Everything was happening so fast, too fast. She was here to protect Harry, she had a mission to complete and that mission did not involve sexy feelings for a married man.

He nodded and straightened his clothes, ran his fingers through his unruly black hair and straightened his glasses. "I'll be late so don't wait up." And with a last tender caress of her cheek he was gone.

More shaken then she cared to admit, Hermione gripped the bench in an effort to control her trembling hands. What was happening to her? She had only known James a day and already she was willing to take on the role as wife and mother in a much more literal way then her mission required.

She had never believed in love at first sight, and was still pretty sure that what she was feeling was mainly side effects of the shock and trauma suffered during the war and waking with this very confusing and possibly impossible mission.

And even if she did fancy the man, he definitely wouldn't fancy her. He loved his wife and didn't know, would never know who was really with him right now.

Desperately in need of a distraction Hermione strode into the lounge and found the paperwork that Sirius had brought for Lily to look at. She might still be a silly young woman in the world of men and attraction but facts and forms were very much her element. Maybe if she could find a way to help Sirius he would help her in return.


	5. Chapter 5

The next few weeks passed quickly and all too easily. Hermione's natural love of Harry made it a pleasure to be his surrogate mother and James Auror duties kept him busier then she expected. He left early after a quick breakfast and came home late to a hot cooked meal she always had made and waiting.

She told herself again and again that James' new mission was a good thing; after all it was much easier to play this role when she wasn't under the constant scrutiny of a husband, but really her relief at his schedule had a lot more to do with her own illogical attraction to him. He was a distraction that she did not need if she was to protect Harry.

Sirius had remained distant and spared her the barest pleasantry when they met. He'd thanked her when she managed to sort out the permissions for him to own and ride his flying motorcycle but had not appreciated her lecture on the importance of protecting their world and using magically charmed vehicles with care and common sense.

Some things never changed.

James arrived home late one night just as Hermione was putting Harry back to bed. She walked out and gasped at the sight that met her eyes.

There was blood running down the side of his face and a gash on his arm and it looked like a large nasty looking bruise was forming just under his eye.

Immediately her instincts kicked in and she ran to him, pulling James into a nearby chair. "Oh, James, what happened?"

"We ran into a group of Death Eaters playing living-dolls with a Muggle family just outside of London." He tentatively touched the gash on his arm and cringed. "I think we got them all but the fight was dirty. I was hoping you'd still be asleep."

Hermione tightened her lips and gave him a stern look. "Well I'm not."

She moved quickly and pulled out the first aid kit but it didn't have all that she needed. Racing out into the garden she gathered up a selection of herbs, pulled a few small bottles of various ingredients from the cupboards.

"What's all that?" He asked curiously and sniffed at a rather inky looking potion.

"Just brewing something for those cuts." She ground and chopped and whispered enchantments as she stirred. "Alright this is going to sting a bit but it will heal much faster."

As gently as she could Hermione cleaned the cuts and then dabbed at them with the healing potion. All the while James watched her. He drank the potion to stop the aches and pains and only cringed and grunted slightly when she worked on his cuts. But his eyes never left her face.

"I didn't know you could mix these kinds of potions," he seemed to be speaking more to break the silence and she smiled softly.

"I was paying attention at Hogwarts you know," she quipped and put away all the ingredients left over. "Here I'll heat up your dinner. You'll need food to help you recover."

He nodded and accepted the food without argument but his eyes never left her face. "Will you sit with me?"

The question struck her as odd. "Of course I will, silly."

Late into the night he talked and ate. Sometime after he finished eating they moved into the lounge and he lay down with his head on her lap and she absently stroked his messy black hair.

He told her about the mission and about how disappointed he was to see so many werewolves and other magical creatures shifting over to Voldermort's side. She responded showing her own frustration at the prejudice that was a rank in her time and here in his.

"Albus thinks there is a spy amongst us." He spoke the words as though they pained him. "One of our friends is feeding information to the dark army."

"Surely not," she replied fully aware of the truth in his suspicions.

"Voldermort has been one step ahead of us for weeks now. Every time we plan a strike against his army they are either ready for us or change their plans. I'm telling you Lils he knows our every movement." He sat up and turned to look at her. "I swear he's playing with us but soon he's going to begin the real attack and he'll come looking for us and the Longbottoms. He pretends that the prophesy doesn't bother him but it must - No wizard as powerful and egotistical as him could ignore a threat like that."

He laid back and gently caressed her arm while he thought out loud. "So far the spy has only been feeding him mission information, battle plans. But how long until he tells his secret master about our families and where to find us?"

"Do you have any idea who it could be?" Hermione asked and her heart ached when she felt him stiffen and nod.

"I don't want to think it. I hate myself for it but if it's true I hate him more." He shut his eyes tightly and sighed. "Things have always been difficult for Werewolves but lately with all the trouble it is getting harder for them to find work and they're not allowed to marry or have children. Part of me doesn't even blame him for his resentment."

"You think it's Remus?"

He nodded. "Voldermort has promised that werewolves and other magical creatures will have equal rights under his régime. It's all bollocks of course the first thing that bigoted snake will do if he wins is execute non-pureblood wizards, muggleborns and werewolves and enslave who they don't kill"

"Remus is no fool, James. He must know that Voldermort's words are nothing but lies."

He gripped her hand tightly. "I don't want to be right about this, Lily," he murmured then closed his eyes.

Hermione couldn't help but smile as she watched him fall asleep. He was so tired and carried so much on his shoulders right now. Gently she smoothed away the worry lines from his forehead and felt the stubble of his unshaven chin under the pads of her fingers. Watching him go from tense and worried and mournful to this perfectly calm sleeping form was something she knew she would never forget.

All the same she felt her thoughts coming together. This was the first critical moment in the Potters history and their downfall. They never suspected Peter Pettigrew was the spy and the belief that it could be Remus tore them apart, made them weak and vulnerable.

She was stepping into very dangerous waters now. Terrible things happen to wizards who mess with time. Her actions now could fix everything or make things so much worse. The history ahead was a blank page. Did she dare to rewrite?

* * *

She was different. James watched her playing with Harry in the garden and mused of exactly what it was that wasn't the same. She looked the same though she had started braiding her long red hair and he was sure she used to wear more makeup then she did now. Of course that wasn't so odd; women were prone to alter their appearance on a whim.

It was other things. She used to simply leave leftovers in the fridge for him and now she made sure that a hot meal was ready for him whether she waited up or not. She made sure he always had a full breakfast before he left the house; in fact she was bordering on militant on the point, when before she left him to a cup of coffee. Lily spoke more now, seemed more opinionate concerning the rights of magical creatures and Muggleborns when before she had obviously cared but rarely shared her thoughts on the matter.

And then there were his own reactions to her. He admitted at least to himself that he never loved Lily. He cared about her and while they were together in the early days he had enjoyed her company. But theirs was only an adolescent crush and was never meant to be more but of course when Harry came along they were forced to marry. He knew that they would both make the sacrifice of true love for their son a thousand times over, but still there was always that slice of resentment towards each other for not being the true lover they had both dreamed of.

But now something was very different. The way he felt about his wife had shifted dramatically. He looked forward to coming home to her. He felt freer to speak his mind and more and more often felt the need to share his feelings and fears when before he kept such things to himself.

It was something else too. Something he couldn't quite put his finger on. He felt calmer when they were together. When he walked into the house and saw her welcoming smile all his worries just flew away. Here in their home he was safe with his family. That's all he'd ever really wanted, what they both wanted. They laughed together and played silly games. She had become a wonder at chess and dealt cards like a shark…

James couldn't take his eyes off her. She looked the same but there was something different in her eyes. He looked into her eyes and his chest tightened, his body vibrated. He was both safe and calm and still but at the same time so excited and happy just being with her.

James wasn't sure but he suspected that he was falling in love with his own wife.

* * *

Next day Hermione opened the door to Sirius Black who walked straight into the kitchen, opened the cupboard and poured himself a glass of scotch.

"You said in your message that you wanted to speak to me." He was abrupt but the way he downed the drink showed that he was not as hard lined as he looked.

"Yes," Hermione answered and took a long sip from her coffee as she gathered her thoughts. "Things are about to get bad. The Order will make some crucial decisions over the next few weeks and the Dark Army is about to strike us at the heart."

"You can stop it and change all that though, right?"

"I don't know."

"What!" He slammed down his glass and glared at her. "You're from the future, impersonating my best friends wife and you're telling me that it's all for nothing!"

"No!" Hermione returned. "And I don't see why you're so angry with me. What happens is just as much your fault as it is the enemies. You with your reckless disregard for anyone, including yourself."

He huffed impatiently. "Hey I'm here living my life. I don't have the gift of foresight like you do." He poured himself another glad of scotch and downed it before meeting her eyes. "Is what's going to happen really my fault?"

Contrite, Hermione was quick to respond. "No, I said that wrong. When things got bad everything happened so fast I don't think anyone could have made any better decisions." She took a breath and sighed. "I can't just change things the way I think they should be. I'll end up making things worse, believe me these things have a way of escalating in directions I could never predict. And I'm pretty sure there's no reset button on this."

"So then what's the point?" Sirius asked and Hermione smiled sadly.

"Well Regulus said that fate isn't a single event but a path. I think that I have to be subtle, there is more then the lives of us to consider and the only way I can see is to let you all make your own choices but with maybe a little more information… A little push in a slightly altered direction" She shook her head then took the glass form Sirius' hand and downed the scotch herself. "Merlin I honestly don't know why they gave this stupid bloody mission to me anyway! Ooh…" She rocked on her feet and giggled when her head spun. "I don't usually drink."

A smile quirked Sirius' lips. "You're quite the lightweight."

"I'm eighteen, I'm allowed to be a lightweight," Hermione replied defensively. "Besides you live your life yanking the local super hero out of trouble and see how much drinking you get done."

He laughed at her pouting and delivered a playful punch to her shoulder. "You know you're cute."

She rolled her eyes and swallowed another scotch. "Sure I am, in this body."

Hermione did a little turn and pulled a lock of hair in front of her eyes. "And look at this hair! It's so silky and smooth and manageable. My real hair is insane and I could only ever dream of being as pretty as Lily."

"This conversation is getting pretty strange right now, just so you know." He arched a single eyebrow but smiled all the same. "Alright you called me here to tell me something, yeah?"

She nodded and giggled again then pouted when he pulled the scotch out of her hand and put it back into the cupboard. He pushed her coffee back into her hand and signaled for her to speak.

Hermione nodded and smiled before starting. "Sorry. Alright over the next few weeks I need you to back me up. I will be making some odd requests and suggestions at the next few Order meetings or to James and I need you to agree with me and make it sound like it makes sense to you even if it sounds nuts…"

"Darlin' everything you've said today sounds nuts."

"Well then it shouldn't be a problem for you then, should it?" She gave him a smug grin and swallowed the last of her coffee.


End file.
